There’s a power to words that is unimaginable. Words can make our hearts feel light, but they also have the power to weigh us down with the heaviness of their meaning. If we let them.

I have always struggled with weight. It has been an issue for me from my mid-teens until today. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I began to love the shape of my body. One day, a person I care deeply for  told me that he found me sexy and complete, no matter what shape my body came in, whether I was wearing makeup, or if my hair was done, I was sexy and complete as is. I was reminded that it was me, inside the curvy body and sometimes sloppy appearance, that had worth. With kind words and reminders that I was doing great no matter where I was on the scale, this encouragement started me down my path to self-love.

It was the words he gifted me that made me feel light. I turned that freedom from the heaviness of words into power. Yes, he might have started me on my journey to self-acceptance, but that journey was mine alone to take.

Sometimes, it’s the people closest to us that weigh us down the most with their words. Pointing out that you have gained weight may seem like they are trying to encourage you, but to others those words can be devastating.

People don’t always realize that they can encourage you without the bluntness that they feel might be appropriate or even helpful. Sometimes people who have never struggled with weight issues might not even realize how their helping might sometimes be the exact opposite.

There are ways to encourage someone without hurting them. Here are some of the things I wish had been said to me as I walked along my path.

–      “You look like you are feeling good.” – A lot of people are quick to say, “you are looking so good since you’ve lost weight.”  No matter how many pounds lost or gained, it is important to acknowledge and let someone know it is okay to love who they are.

–      “What can I do to help you?” – Sometimes I find myself giving unsolicited advice based on my own current and past journey. And if I am being honest, it is super annoying. Just ask what someone needs. How can you support them with how they are feeling? Offer to just be there in whatever way they need from you. That will go further than advice they never asked for.

–      “You’re doing great!” – People tend to point out what someone is doing wrong rather than what they have achieved. Instead of saying, “maybe you should exercise more,” or “Ya know, sitting around isn’t helping you lose weight.” I suggest congratulating them on the little things. When you see someone trying hard, tell them! Let them know that they are doing great and trying hard. Sometimes when there is a moment of doubt your kind words and belief in them can see them through to the other side

Here is what I recommend: Before you talk say the words to yourself. If a friend said that to you, how would you feel? Would you want it said that way or would you want it worded differently? How would you want your support to appear?

Words not only have meaning, but they carry a weight to them that can’t always be explained. That comes from the motivation and emotion behind them. While someone might be trying to help, they might not always know the right way to do it. When trying to support someone, whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or even complete strangers, it’s important that we choose our words wisely. We don’t always know what the other person is going through at any point in their lives. We don’t always know their stories. And sometimes, even when words might fail us, something as simple as a friendly smile can be motivating enough in a world full of frowns and disapproving looks. Life is heavy, but if we approach it with a certain kind of understanding then maybe we can bring a little lightness into our lives.

There’s a power to words which, honestly, sometimes really can’t even be put into words.