Nothing bothers me more than someone dismissing my opinions out of hand because they are assuming I am about to begin a “feminist rant.”
The truth is I was raised with very strong, outspoken women in my life. These women I knew never help back their opinions and thoughts from anyone. They were not disrespectful or crass. Their thoughts were poignant and well organized. They were brave and they were unfortunately not always accepted due to being women.
My grandmother was a political activist. She held meetings and met with local council members and State Senators. When she passed, Presidents sent notes…. But I remember times where men would ask her if her husband liked what she was doing or to please let the men speak.
I learned from her that Empowered Women Empower Women…
She never raised her voice when offended or debated. She always spoke in calm tones even when angry at being dismissed. She stayed true to her beliefs.
Nowadays, in a time when women’s issue are still a point of contention amongst so many. When many women are marching in the streets for equality in pay, healthcare, and position in our country; I urge women who are of similar beliefs to do the following when up against someone who wants to argue.
Do not get mad…. Well try not to at least!
Sometimes that is very hard, some of the current issues are deep feeling issues for us as individuals but when you lose your cool, and your point is not heard. When arguing in general, the louder and more upset you are, the less the other person listens. There are times I vehemently disagree with people about their beliefs but I have to breathe and stay calm. It is not easy or fun but calm can get your point across better than a scream.
Get Knowledgeable
Know what you are talking about. Women’s issue such as Right to choose, equal pay, insurance and medical coverage are hot button issues. People speak out of emotion of the subject and that is fine, we are all passionate about it or we would not be debating but know your shit. You can change a mind or a point of view with knowledge. Understanding of the subject lends weight to your argument and helps in your expressing of those ideas.
Know when to walk away
This is the hardest lesson, but sometimes no matter what you say, you are not changing anyone’s mind. Not everyone is as enlightened as you are and willing to listen to what others’ have to say. Sometimes to save your sanity you have to just walk away and live to argue another day.
Until then…. Keep moving forward my fellow female warriors. Value your voice! It is powerful, it is special, and it should be heard with respect!